Hi Rachel,

Your ex? Not an incel. The source of incel frustration is that love and sex are out of reach for them. The source of incel bitterness is that they see shitheads like your ex getting both. They'd call him a Chad, and in their terminology they would be right. I'd say he's just an asshole, if perhaps a little too misogynistic to be a run of the mill asshole.

Whatever overlap in worldview he may have with them, whatever frustrations he might have about how he isn't getting whatever it is he wants from relationships, the fact that he has relationships disqualifies him from incelhood. They are frustrated and bitter because they don't have girlfriends, he is frustrated and bitter in spite of having girlfriends. A lot of those incels would lose the frustration and bitterness if they found someone who appreciated and accepted them, your ex's problem is more fundamental to his nature. He's a tool, it's not always a curable condition.